If you’re an Abraham Hicks fan, you probably already know the basics of her philosophy: get happy, and everything else will work out for you. When you focus on getting into alignment, the universe will take care of the details.

While Abraham offers a clear 5-step process for finding alignment with your desires, how do you handle desires that involve other people? In particular, how do you use your energy to improve your relationships and develop healthy, spiritual partnerships with the people you love?

In this post, I’ll dive into a few key points that will help you improve your relationships, and then I’ll share an excerpt in which Abraham explains the ideas in a seminar.

The Keys to a Healthy Relationship

According to Abraham, the basics of having a healthy relationship are very simple: you must focus on your own happiness first, and then allow other people to come into alignment with your positive energy.

As you do this, you will likely experience some contrast, but this contrast is actually a positive thing, because it helps you to realize the ways in which you are placing conditions upon the other person, in order to ensure your own happiness.

Eckhart Tolle offers a similar view, in which he talks about the importance of remaining present to develop enlightened relationships with others.

Focus on Yourself First

Perhaps the single most important teaching to understand is also one of the most counter-intuitive ideas Abraham presents: the importance of putting yourself first.

In order to grasp this point, you must understand that your own happiness is ALWAYS your number one goal, and your primary responsibility. Even when you are dealing with other people, you need to remain centered in your own energy, so that you can respond to circumstances from a point of alignment.

When you sacrifice your own alignment in order to please other people, you actually create more conflict. By attempting to cater to their conditions, you lower your energy, and do not give them the opportunity to see the best version of yourself.

This does not mean you do not do anything for others, but it means that anything you do for another must come from your own alignment, and be part of your process of increasing joy and love.

Understand That Most People Have Conditional Relationships

As you focus on prioritizing your own happiness, you will realize that for most people, relationships operate according to unspoken conditions. When we say we love someone, what we often mean is that we love certain attributes of them. This might be specific conditions of life, or it might mean we love the way they make us feel about ourselves.

These hidden conditions are often extremely subtle, but they are almost always present. We rarely interact with others on the level of our highest ideals, light, and inspiration.

When you begin to recognize this dynamic, you can begin to remove the conditions you place on the other person, which will lighten the burden you place on the relationship, often causing it to be healthier, more engaging, and more fun.

Contrast in Relationships Can Be Good

Lastly, it’s important to understand that contrast is never a bad thing, and the same applies for contrast in relationships.

Often, there is a temptation people have that if a relationship is not satisfying in some way, that it means they should end it. While sometimes ending a relationship may be appropriate, it’s also essential to understand that the relationship is always serving a purpose for you.

Sometimes, that purpose involves contrast, and it is through the experience of things that you don’t want that you can come to see a clearer picture about the energy you hold, and what beliefs you might have that are keeping you back from a preferred outcome…whether in this relationship or the next.

Abraham Hicks Explains The Secret to Better Relationships – Powerful Video

In this video, taken from an Abraham Hicks seminar, the questioner tells a story about how a relationship with his partner has deteriorated and asks for help on how to repair his relationship.

Abraham re-centers his focus by teaching him that the primary focus should always be on himself, and the connection he maintains to his inner being and Source energy.

There are some really great insights in this video, so I hope you enjoy it!