When it comes to relationships, you’ve probably heard before that communication is key. 

In reality, we are all different and we all have different communication styles. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t possible to maintain a relationship with someone who has a different style than yours. 

An essential tool to improving communication with your partner is by learning to stop assuming things. 

By always assuming what other people think of feel, we are closing ourselves off to other’s actual feelings, blocking out both good and bad. 

If you’re wondering how to increase your communication with your partner and stop assuming, we have a few pieces of advice for you. 

Steps To Stop Assuming

Replace Assumptions With Questions 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for clarification from your partner when you’re unsure. 

This goes for plans, and even arguments.

If you’re having a disagreement with your partner and they say something that felt offensive, give them a chance to clarify what they meant by their comment. Odds are pretty high that their words just came out wrong. 

It also gives your partner a chance to acknowledge what they said, and consider how it may have made you felt. 

This is a great way for both parties to better understanding the effects of their words. 

Think Before You React 

When emotions are running high, it can be easy to react.

Taking a few moments to consider how and why you feel before taking action is a great way to avoid assumptions that lead to confrontation. 

Next time your partner says something that upsets or offends you, take a step back. 

Give yourself a chance to reassess what was said and why it made you feel the way you do.

Consider whether what they said upset you, or the way they said it. This will help you to avoid reading between the lines and take things for what they are. 

This will allow the situation to marinate in your partner’s mind and potentially reassess their own words. 

Affirmations 

If you’re looking for a more specific approach to stop assuming things, you may want to talk to your partner about implementing affirmations into your relationship. 

Similar to compliments, affirmations are words or phrases meant to shift someone’s mindset to a place of positivity. 

By practicing affirmations with your partner, you can ensure confidence in each other by reminding one another of your true feelings.  

Find a quiet a comfortable place each day to share affirmations with your partner. The key to effectiveness here is specificity and consistency. 

So chose your affirmation and continue utilizing it until you really begin to digest the words. 

Some examples of positive affirmation to stop assuming are: 

• My partner and I deserve happy and healthy communication. 
• I accept you for you and all of your flaws. 
• I fully trust my partner. 
• My partner and I are comfortable sharing our thoughts and feelings. 

Next time you notice yourself jumping to conclusions, it’s important to remember that assuming the motives of another’s person is simply not our purpose. 

Rather, our purpose is to love deeply and hope for the same in return.