We are naturally social creatures. Think back to our more ancient ways of interacting with one another. We depended on each other much more for our survival then.
Our ability to be liked directly impacted our ability to stay alive. This is where our fear of not being liked derives itself from. It is actually a protection mechanism.
This can come into play with how we deal with negative people. When we allow the fear of not being liked to influence us we may act out of alignment with what our inner voice is telling us we need.
How To Know When Someone Is Negatively Impacting You
How do you know if someone has a negative impact on your life? How can you tell if they are ëmotional vampires”? One direct way is to ask yourself, do I feel recharged or drained after spending time with them?
This question will remove your logical mind from trying to rationalize your opinions on their behavior. When someone is negative that doesn’t mean they are a bad person or don’t deserve love. It also does not mean you are obligated to keep them in your life.
They may commonly have negative viewpoints, complain, or wallow in being unhappy. They may not even want to change their thoughts from negative ones to positive ones.
Asking if you feel like they want you to succeed, is another great question to see if this person is negatively impacting you.
Techniques To Preserve Your Energy
The more you stay true to what your needs are the more you are able to give to others as well. Keeping this in mind, do not hesitate to set boundaries on another’s access to you or how much energy you put into them.
Spending time with negative people and pessimistic views will directly impact the amount of effort you need to put in to be optimistic. By choosing positive people and perspectives to be around through the law of attraction you will be manifesting more of this as well.
Not Allowing Them To Influence You
In the book The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz speaks about not taking anything personally in agreement number two.
This means any negative or belittling comments thrown your way have nothing to do with you and are a projection of that person’s own feelings regardless of you.
Keeping this in mind when dealing with negative people is a key component to not allow them to dim your shine and optimism.
Maintaining Your Energy
Use meditative skills to observe their experience and perspectives rather than allowing an emotional reaction to be stirred within you.
Holding space for another is a term to imply using active listening skills without involving your input or opinions. When doing so you can allow them to rant and complain without needing to put your energy into trying to fix them.
This is a skill of knowing when to preserve your energy. There is a time when people want to hear advice and be uplifted. Sometimes people want to complain and stay in a victimized mindset.
You do not need to spend your energy digging them out of this. In fact sometimes when remaining objective and not providing sympathy pity, you can empower them to step out of feeling victimized.